Can the person who left a tin of spam on the train tonight please contact the lost property office and *maybe* explain why they left it on my train.. I'd really love to know the story behind this one.

Just a tin of spam, sat on a seat, all on it's own... you people are really weird.

It's not everyday I have to rescue stray pets from the line - however this one was lucky - the Station Supervisor at Charing spotted a dog running up the track towards Lenham and warned the signaller, who in turn warned me via the radio - thinking this was yet another wind up or false alarm I was surprised to see a black labrador sitting inbetween the running rails on the opposite track.

I stopped the train and after some effort, managed to coax the dog to jump over both live rails - however he refused to jump up into the cab (from track level to cab door it's a good 5-6 foot drop) - so I had to pick him up and shove him in through the door - I never realised how much a wet, muddy fully grown labrador weighed!

Still, the story has a happy ending - after dropping him off at Charing and leaving him in the care of the station staff and local villiage policeman - the dog warden was called out from Ashford and found he had a microchip I.D tag implanted, and 'Blue' was reunited with his owner who lives some miles away from the station.

A minor drama in Charing and aparently the whole villiage is knows about it now! - Poor thing had a lucky escape as the fast Cannon Street service was only a few minutes in the other direction.

Just a quick one to say well done to everyone working on Friday who took part in the two minutes silence to remember those who lost their lives in the bombings of a year ago {it's not easy to include things like that into the working day on the railway}...

..and shame on the chavvy scumbag who insisted on shouting down her mobile on the 11:57 from Ashford to Ramsgate during the 2 minutes. TWO FECKIN' minutes of silence?? Is it too much to ask? Could you not have disconnected yourself from your cheap PAYG mobile and shown a little respect...?

This one's for the two lads who were having a go at my guard last night - I'm sorry to dispell your idea that all railstaff are lazy overpaid militants (I'm sure reading a certain newspaper hasn't clouded your judgement at all) - but some of us were still hard at work at 00:38 this morning - making sure you drunken lot actually got home from whatever bar or club you found yourself in.

So next time you want to use the "bunch of lazy bastard" line - just try to remember the last time you were at work at 3am...

Back just a few days and the sun comes out!

Sadly my joy at some decent weather and some fairly interesting jobs comes to an end when a signal failure at Sevenoaks meant delays and cancellations. Suprisingly most people took it in their stride, being a sunny Friday with a nice weekend ahead.. but there's always one to let the side down:

"[BLEEP]ing railway, you lot are [BLEEP]ing b***dy useless"
and my personal favourite;
"Why the [BLEEP] do I pay for a [BLEEP]ing ticket when you can't get to the [BLEEP]ing place you need to get to"

Obviously the 'gentleman' in question was quite agitated by the 25 minute delay, but I don't think I deserved to be called a "Useless " when he asked me what bus took him from Orpington to Knockholt... what do I look like? A bus spotter?

I don't know what it is about my uniform that causes people to use language like that.. but to the old cogder on Orpington Platform 4 this morning - I think you're

What a bunch of miserable sods you all were this evening. I've never seen a more depressed bunch of people in all my life (well, atleast since the last time I worked a peak-hour train from Blackfriars - now that's a depressing place! )

Still, am off now for what seems like ages... and I'm really looking forward to going back to work already;

Am I bcks!

Network Rail's Level Crossing Safety Campaign begins tomorrow, with TV, Radio and Newspaper ads... however I think the video file above speaks for itself.

The clip originally comes from here, and includes the other angle from the CCTV, it sadly ends just as the driver reaches the rear of his train. Personally I'd be in prison for beating an OAP to death with his own car keys if I had been driving the train...

Maybe Darwin was right after all....

Being spare on Sundays usually means that you don't end up doing much in the way of driving - however the best laid plans...

Thanks to a fire at a council recycling centre, services to and from Victoria were suspended, and Eurostar services to Waterloo only ran as far as Ashford, where passengers were transferred to special trains for a slightly slower journey to Charing Cross and Waterloo East.

Which meant that I got an unexpected trip to London and back, along with the usual moans about how crap the railway service is from the passengers... it's not like we go out of our way to stop people getting to where they want to go! Anyone would think I personally set fire to the place just to annoy the travelling public.

But then it's not long since the house collapsed at Bromley South which resulted in pretty much the same chaos.

I'm not one to moan - actually 99% of the time - I'm on the receiving end as some bloke in a cheap suit whines on about how crap the service is, that their train was late all week or that the heating/air conditioning isn't doing anything on the train.

But they've started to take the p*ss now - aparently the PA system onboard our *wonderful* Class 465 units is... (wait for it!).... too loud.

So we get complaints if we don't make announcements, and now we're getting complaints that we do make announcements....

We can't win....

You'd think with all the recent stories about people being killed on railway crossings (see here, here and here) that some would take slightly more notice...

On my way up to Victoria this morning, I was forced to stick the emergency brake in (and on a 465, that's not a comfortable application!) by a young (say mid-20s) woman who had decided to stand in the middle of the footcrossing at East Malling, and wait until I was 20ft away to make a run for the other side. Thankfully the 'thump' I was expecting didn't occur and I looked down to see her standing on the other side of the crossing smiling at me? - When I lowered my sidewindow to 'politely' ask what the feck she was doing - she just waved and shouted 'Sorry - No English - Sorry' repeatedly.
Not only that, but her two equally stupid friends had now decided to walk up the opposite running line past my now stationary train, step over two live conductor rails and stand inbetween the two running rails, right infront of my train?? I had to shout at them to get out of the way!

Now - I can understand with the language barrier that the multiple warning signs may have confused - but I would think that even in France they have the concept of 'getting hit by a train will kill you'.

Makes my blood boil to think that not only did I only miss her by 6inches thanks to her own stupidity, but had I actually hit her, the railway would have been made out to be the party in the wrong.